Dating for the Shy Guy

Here are two things that never work together, dating and being a shy guy. Most notably a shy guy that is excellent at living inside his head and getting in his own way. Let’s just say dating, or the idea of it, is almost a joke to me.

Don’t get me wrong I would love to have an active dating life, but for me that just doesn’t seem possible. Even with my façade in place I still cannot seem to push past the shyness to make the initial contact. How sad is that? I am by no means a bad looking guy; in fact I am often told I am quite attractive by female friends and colleagues. The issue is, regardless of my appearance, if a man does not approach a woman first nothing will ever happen. That is where I shutdown. The sheer thought of being rejected, criticized, or possibly laughed at instantly paralyzes me in fear. So what do I do next? I run and hide inside of my own head and rationalize my behavior. I reassure myself that it is better this way. Beside if she did say yes, who would she be saying yes to? Certainly not the real me who is hidden deep behind the façade, no one would want to see that person, would they? Shallow and superficial, that’s what people are, right? So why not return the behavior? Better yet, don’t behave at all. Be nothing, show nothing, withdraw, and hide my own world.

But for some reason I cannot give up completely. I still go out, make myself seem, and use my charm the whole time hoping she is out there. The one that will find me, see through my façade, and want the real me. I know I am still in here somewhere. Perhaps if she looks deep enough long enough she could pull me back to reality. Help me to discard my façade, and shine once again and forever.

But this is my reality. I doubt she is out there and more importantly I doubt she would ever approach me first. So here I am, stuck in the shell of existence. Not really sad, but never really happy. More than anything I am really just lonely.