As relationships begin to fail there are always signs to be on the lookout for. If you notice or experience any of the following, there is a good chance that your relationship might soon be over!
• All work and no play – While work schedules can get crazy at times for everyone, if you notice your partner frequently working late and/or over the weekends for what appears to be no real reason they may just be trying to avoid you.
• Avoiding time alone – In addition to immersing themselves into their work, you may find that it is impossible to even share a simple meal together. On the rare chance that you do manage to make plans, you can bet that your partner will most likely insist that several friends come along as well. Constantly inviting friends to come along is another tactic to avoid alone time with you!
• No talk of future plans – Whether it is plans for the weekend or just plans for dinner, don’t be surprised if the term “we” is no longer used. Dropping the “we” talk for the singular “I” is a big sign that your partner is trying to distance themselves from you and the relationship.
• The closeness is gone – If you start to feel that your partner is more like a roommate, that’s because they are. At this point in the relationship your partner has most likely done some serious work to distance themselves from the relationship as much as possible without actually ending it and/or moving out.
• No more sex – it is not completely unusual for couples to continue to have sex even as the relationship is falling apart. If you find yourself trying to remember the last time the two of you were intimate, you can bet things are pretty much over. Once things cease in the bedroom, you can bet the end of the relationship will soon follow.
As always, this is by no means a complete list. It is just intended to give you some signs to be on the lookout for if you feel your relationship might be headed for the rocks. It is also important to note that a single sign alone does not always indicate problems in the relationship. It is when several signs are present that you can bet rough waters might be soon ahead!
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Friday, May 13, 2011
Are You Dating a Gold Digger?
In keeping with this week’s “signs” theme, here are a few signs that you might be dating a Gold Digger:
• She is out of your league – If the usual women you attract/date are 5’s and 6’s and all of the sudden you find yourself dating a 10, it is very possible she is look at your wallet and not you. While this is not true in all cases, it is a good general indicator to watch for especially if additional signs follow.
• She never offers to pay – While paying for most things is the gentlemanly thing to do, if you find she never offers to pay (not ever for herself) there is a good chance she is looking for a Sugar Daddy to spoil her rotten.
• She is overly interested on how much you make – if your career and finances seem to be the focus of your conversations, especially when you first meet, there is a good chance she is try to size you up. Depending on your responses, if she is a Gold Digger, she will either be instantly in love with you or you will be quickly dismissed. Women looking for money typically don’t waste too much time chatting with guys that clearly don’t have it.
• She asks for gifts or money early in the relationship – From small tokens of affection to expensive jewelry, don’t be surprised if she is trying to spend your money as fast as she can get it. After all, you “love her” right? So why wouldn’t you want her to have “nice things”? – Note the sarcasm!
• She uses sex for gifts – you will quickly realize that if you hold on to the wallet too tight, you will be going to bed alone. You can bet the less you spend on her, the less willing she will be to have sex. Remember, it is your wallet that she really wants to spend time with, not you.
Remember, while it might be nice to have a piece of arm candy, unless you are willing to play Sugar Daddy she won’t be sticking around long. Just watch for the early signs and indicators and you will be alright. Ignore them and you might find yourself broke and lonely once all you money is gone!
• She is out of your league – If the usual women you attract/date are 5’s and 6’s and all of the sudden you find yourself dating a 10, it is very possible she is look at your wallet and not you. While this is not true in all cases, it is a good general indicator to watch for especially if additional signs follow.
• She never offers to pay – While paying for most things is the gentlemanly thing to do, if you find she never offers to pay (not ever for herself) there is a good chance she is looking for a Sugar Daddy to spoil her rotten.
• She is overly interested on how much you make – if your career and finances seem to be the focus of your conversations, especially when you first meet, there is a good chance she is try to size you up. Depending on your responses, if she is a Gold Digger, she will either be instantly in love with you or you will be quickly dismissed. Women looking for money typically don’t waste too much time chatting with guys that clearly don’t have it.
• She asks for gifts or money early in the relationship – From small tokens of affection to expensive jewelry, don’t be surprised if she is trying to spend your money as fast as she can get it. After all, you “love her” right? So why wouldn’t you want her to have “nice things”? – Note the sarcasm!
• She uses sex for gifts – you will quickly realize that if you hold on to the wallet too tight, you will be going to bed alone. You can bet the less you spend on her, the less willing she will be to have sex. Remember, it is your wallet that she really wants to spend time with, not you.
Remember, while it might be nice to have a piece of arm candy, unless you are willing to play Sugar Daddy she won’t be sticking around long. Just watch for the early signs and indicators and you will be alright. Ignore them and you might find yourself broke and lonely once all you money is gone!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
5 Signs She’s Into You
Yesterday I posted “5 Signs She’s Not Into You”, so today I figured I would follow that up with 5 signs that she is into you!
• She asks question about your personal life – From how many siblings, to where you grew up, don’t be surprised if her questioning starts to sound a little like a background check. If she is interested, there is very little that she won’t want to know about you.
• She talks about doing future activities together – During a conversation if you hear phrases like “I have always wanted to try that” or “we should do that together”, you can bet that she is looking to spend more time with you. Just don’t be too surprised if she is interested in doing even the most boring activities with you too.
• She plays with her hair – We have all seen this one portrayed in the movies time and time again. Call it a nervous tic, or a form of subconscious flirting, but when a woman is interested in you she will most like play and twirl her hair while listening or talking with you.
• She laughs at even your bad jokes – As much as we want to believe that we are world-class standup comedians, let’s face it some of our jokes are bombs. Regardless of how bad the jokes you tell are, if she is interested, you will most like still receive a small courtesy laugh even if she didn’t think it was that funny.
• She finds excuses to touch you – whether it’s a smug on your cheek, a misplaced hair, or a folded/wrinkled cuff on your shirt, she will be the first one to notice and fix it. This allows her to make physical contact with you without being too overly obvious.
So there you have it, 5 signs she’s into you. Like the list before, this is by no means complete. It is simply a good starting point of signs to look for to help you determine if she is indeed interested.
Do you have any others you would like to add to the list? If so, let me hear them in the comments below!
• She asks question about your personal life – From how many siblings, to where you grew up, don’t be surprised if her questioning starts to sound a little like a background check. If she is interested, there is very little that she won’t want to know about you.
• She talks about doing future activities together – During a conversation if you hear phrases like “I have always wanted to try that” or “we should do that together”, you can bet that she is looking to spend more time with you. Just don’t be too surprised if she is interested in doing even the most boring activities with you too.
• She plays with her hair – We have all seen this one portrayed in the movies time and time again. Call it a nervous tic, or a form of subconscious flirting, but when a woman is interested in you she will most like play and twirl her hair while listening or talking with you.
• She laughs at even your bad jokes – As much as we want to believe that we are world-class standup comedians, let’s face it some of our jokes are bombs. Regardless of how bad the jokes you tell are, if she is interested, you will most like still receive a small courtesy laugh even if she didn’t think it was that funny.
• She finds excuses to touch you – whether it’s a smug on your cheek, a misplaced hair, or a folded/wrinkled cuff on your shirt, she will be the first one to notice and fix it. This allows her to make physical contact with you without being too overly obvious.
So there you have it, 5 signs she’s into you. Like the list before, this is by no means complete. It is simply a good starting point of signs to look for to help you determine if she is indeed interested.
Do you have any others you would like to add to the list? If so, let me hear them in the comments below!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
First Date Do’s and Don’ts
Here is a short list of first date do’s and don’ts that every guy should follow at the bare minimum. It is by no means a complete list, but is a good starting point for any first date.
The Do’s:
Do pay attention to your date – Remember, you are there to get to know each other. Pay attention to what she has to say. Listen closely to what she has to say and ask intelligent questions. Every woman likes a good listener and a man that can hold a conversation.
Do maintain good eye contact – Look your date in the eyes, this lets her know you are interested in hearing what she has to say, not just what she looks like. As tempting as it might be for your eyes to wander south, always remember the saying “eyes up here”. If you hear those words on your date, you have been caught and have most likely lost some serious points with your date.
Do plan out the date in advance – Be a man and take the lead. Show your date that you know how to have a good time and make plans/arrangements ahead of time. The last thing most women want to hear on a first date is “what would you like to do?”. Have a plan and a backup plan in the event your date just isn’t into the current activity/event. She will be impressed with how well you are prepared and flexible you can be.
Do meet in public – Ok, this is to benefit you both. While both parties always hope things will go smoothly, every once in a while you run across a few potential stalkers. Meeting in public allows either party to return home without the worry of having an unwanted and unexpected visitor later.
Do use humor – If you ask most women what they want in a man, a good sense of humor is always towards the top of the list. Don’t be afraid to tell a funny joke or story, just be tasteful. Make sure you stick to mainstream comedy if you are unsure if your date might take offense or not.
Do be a gentleman – Ok guys, you can score some serious point here. Open all doors (even car/taxi doors), pull out chairs, pay complements, etc. Women love to feel special and important, and by doing these basic things she will see you know how to treat her like a lady, not like one of the guys.
Do offer to pay – I know some might disagree with this one, but for me paying for the first date is a no brainer. Doing this lets your date know that you are not worried or thinking about the cost of the date, but are more interested in having a good time and focusing on her instead. This also gets back to being a gentleman, just do it and you will most likely be rewarded later down the road.
Do follow up after the date – If you both had a good time and you want there to be at least a second date, follow up the date with a phone call, email, or text (just don’t go overboard). Let you date know that you had a good time and are looking for to the next. Once again, women love to feel wanted and a simple follow up will do just that.
The Don’ts:
Don’t talk about past relationships – We all have past relationships, but a first date is not the time to talk about them. First dates should always be about getting to know each other, so stay focused on that. If things work out between you two there will be time later down the road to discuss pervious relationships.
Don’t be over physical – Guys, take your cues from your date. She will let you know what kind and how much physical contact she wants. It is always better to keep it in your pants on the first date than to scare her away by being overly physical.
Don’t get drunk – Ok, I wish I didn’t even have to include this one, but sometimes those first date jitters can push us to one drink too many. While it is ok to enjoy a few drinks with you date, just remember you are making a first impression. Play it cool and mix it up with non-alcoholic drinks throughout the night to make sure you don’t come off as a drunken idiot and blow it.
Don’t be a yes man – You are a man, it is ok to have an opinion. While I do not recommend arguing, it is ok to disagree with your date if you don’t share the same point of view on a topic. Agreeing to disagree shows a woman that you know how to standup for what you believe in, but that you don’t have to always be right.
Don’t checkout other women – This one should also be a no brainer. Remember you are out with your date and not the guys. If you are not interested in your date, it is much better to end the date early that to disrespect her by acting like a dog. Remember women love to talk and you never know when you might end up dating someone she knows down the road.
Don’t answer your cell phone – Unless your house is on fire, or someone is hurt, do not answer that cell phone. Once again, your attention should be focused on your date. Answering phone calls or texts during your date is distasteful and distracting. It is also a fast way to give your date the impression that you are not into her. Once again, if this is the case end the date early, don’t be disrespectful!
Ok, so there you have it. Like I said at the beginning this is by no means a complete list, but if you follow the advice listed about you are bound to have a more enjoyable first date experience than flying blind and winging it!
If you have some additional do’s and don’ts for first dates, let me hear them! Comments are always welcomed!
The Do’s:
Do pay attention to your date – Remember, you are there to get to know each other. Pay attention to what she has to say. Listen closely to what she has to say and ask intelligent questions. Every woman likes a good listener and a man that can hold a conversation.
Do maintain good eye contact – Look your date in the eyes, this lets her know you are interested in hearing what she has to say, not just what she looks like. As tempting as it might be for your eyes to wander south, always remember the saying “eyes up here”. If you hear those words on your date, you have been caught and have most likely lost some serious points with your date.
Do plan out the date in advance – Be a man and take the lead. Show your date that you know how to have a good time and make plans/arrangements ahead of time. The last thing most women want to hear on a first date is “what would you like to do?”. Have a plan and a backup plan in the event your date just isn’t into the current activity/event. She will be impressed with how well you are prepared and flexible you can be.
Do meet in public – Ok, this is to benefit you both. While both parties always hope things will go smoothly, every once in a while you run across a few potential stalkers. Meeting in public allows either party to return home without the worry of having an unwanted and unexpected visitor later.
Do use humor – If you ask most women what they want in a man, a good sense of humor is always towards the top of the list. Don’t be afraid to tell a funny joke or story, just be tasteful. Make sure you stick to mainstream comedy if you are unsure if your date might take offense or not.
Do be a gentleman – Ok guys, you can score some serious point here. Open all doors (even car/taxi doors), pull out chairs, pay complements, etc. Women love to feel special and important, and by doing these basic things she will see you know how to treat her like a lady, not like one of the guys.
Do offer to pay – I know some might disagree with this one, but for me paying for the first date is a no brainer. Doing this lets your date know that you are not worried or thinking about the cost of the date, but are more interested in having a good time and focusing on her instead. This also gets back to being a gentleman, just do it and you will most likely be rewarded later down the road.
Do follow up after the date – If you both had a good time and you want there to be at least a second date, follow up the date with a phone call, email, or text (just don’t go overboard). Let you date know that you had a good time and are looking for to the next. Once again, women love to feel wanted and a simple follow up will do just that.
The Don’ts:
Don’t talk about past relationships – We all have past relationships, but a first date is not the time to talk about them. First dates should always be about getting to know each other, so stay focused on that. If things work out between you two there will be time later down the road to discuss pervious relationships.
Don’t be over physical – Guys, take your cues from your date. She will let you know what kind and how much physical contact she wants. It is always better to keep it in your pants on the first date than to scare her away by being overly physical.
Don’t get drunk – Ok, I wish I didn’t even have to include this one, but sometimes those first date jitters can push us to one drink too many. While it is ok to enjoy a few drinks with you date, just remember you are making a first impression. Play it cool and mix it up with non-alcoholic drinks throughout the night to make sure you don’t come off as a drunken idiot and blow it.
Don’t be a yes man – You are a man, it is ok to have an opinion. While I do not recommend arguing, it is ok to disagree with your date if you don’t share the same point of view on a topic. Agreeing to disagree shows a woman that you know how to standup for what you believe in, but that you don’t have to always be right.
Don’t checkout other women – This one should also be a no brainer. Remember you are out with your date and not the guys. If you are not interested in your date, it is much better to end the date early that to disrespect her by acting like a dog. Remember women love to talk and you never know when you might end up dating someone she knows down the road.
Don’t answer your cell phone – Unless your house is on fire, or someone is hurt, do not answer that cell phone. Once again, your attention should be focused on your date. Answering phone calls or texts during your date is distasteful and distracting. It is also a fast way to give your date the impression that you are not into her. Once again, if this is the case end the date early, don’t be disrespectful!
Ok, so there you have it. Like I said at the beginning this is by no means a complete list, but if you follow the advice listed about you are bound to have a more enjoyable first date experience than flying blind and winging it!
If you have some additional do’s and don’ts for first dates, let me hear them! Comments are always welcomed!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Being Single
While I do date occasionally, for all intents and purposes I am single and have been for quite some time now. My friends often ask me how I handle being single without getting too lonely, and I figured I would share my response with you.
I admit after being in a long-term committed relationship, it was tough being single at first. I realized the thing that helped the most was staying active. Rather than sitting at home by yourself, it is best to get out there and stay busy. Don’t be afraid to do the things you love alone, or invite a friend or family member along if you want to. It is also helpful to get active in any hobbies you might have, or have had in the past. This is also a great time to try new hobbies or activities that you might have always wanted to try too. As a bonus, doing this is also a great way to meet new people!
In addition to staying active, it also helps to accept that it is ok to be single. While having someone to share your life with is a wonderful experience, it by no means should be a requirement for happiness. Being single does not mean you are worthless, unattractive, unwanted, or any other negative thought that might fill you head. You have to push those thoughts aside and focus on yourself, and your own happiness as a single.
My next recommendation is to spend some serious time reflecting and reinvesting in yourself. Focus on your positive qualities and what you have to offer. Reflect on the good parts of past relationships along with any lessons you have learned from the bad and use this as an opportunity for self-improvement. When you find aspects of your life that you would like to change or improve, take the time to reinvest in yourself and follow the steps to make it happen.
It is also important to never forget the power of friends and family. Spending time with friends and loved ones is always a great cure for loneliness. Whether it is a family dinner or a night out with friends, the time will fly by while you are out having fun. If you are not in a position to visit or hangout in person, sometimes even a simple phone call can pass the time and do wonders for your spirit.
The key to all of this is to have fun! Single or not, life is what we make of it. Never let some ideology stand in your way of happiness. Enjoy life and live it to the fullest. Embrace being single and just have fun! Just don’t be too surprised when you turn around and find your next loving relationship is staring you right in the face!
I admit after being in a long-term committed relationship, it was tough being single at first. I realized the thing that helped the most was staying active. Rather than sitting at home by yourself, it is best to get out there and stay busy. Don’t be afraid to do the things you love alone, or invite a friend or family member along if you want to. It is also helpful to get active in any hobbies you might have, or have had in the past. This is also a great time to try new hobbies or activities that you might have always wanted to try too. As a bonus, doing this is also a great way to meet new people!
In addition to staying active, it also helps to accept that it is ok to be single. While having someone to share your life with is a wonderful experience, it by no means should be a requirement for happiness. Being single does not mean you are worthless, unattractive, unwanted, or any other negative thought that might fill you head. You have to push those thoughts aside and focus on yourself, and your own happiness as a single.
My next recommendation is to spend some serious time reflecting and reinvesting in yourself. Focus on your positive qualities and what you have to offer. Reflect on the good parts of past relationships along with any lessons you have learned from the bad and use this as an opportunity for self-improvement. When you find aspects of your life that you would like to change or improve, take the time to reinvest in yourself and follow the steps to make it happen.
It is also important to never forget the power of friends and family. Spending time with friends and loved ones is always a great cure for loneliness. Whether it is a family dinner or a night out with friends, the time will fly by while you are out having fun. If you are not in a position to visit or hangout in person, sometimes even a simple phone call can pass the time and do wonders for your spirit.
The key to all of this is to have fun! Single or not, life is what we make of it. Never let some ideology stand in your way of happiness. Enjoy life and live it to the fullest. Embrace being single and just have fun! Just don’t be too surprised when you turn around and find your next loving relationship is staring you right in the face!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Rebound Dating
Ok, so I was reading some online dating forums the other day and kept running across comments regarding rebound dating. More specifically, most of the comments seemed to indicate that it is fairly common to go on a first date only to find out that the person they met had only been single for a short time, and should not be dating at all.
After reading all these comments, I was left with several questions regarding rebound dating and if and when it is appropriate. It appears that there are a few schools of thought when it comes to this topic.
One of the most common thoughts on this was the “get right back out there” or “back on the horse” approach. Apparently if the pervious relationship was not that serious, or was a fairly short duration, a lot of people seem to recommend getting back on the horse as soon as possible and start dating again. From the comments it seems doing this helps people to see that there are other fish in the sea and that it is ok to move on quickly.
The second approach seemed to apply to long-term relationship that were considers more serious. According to the comments, it appears in cases like this it is indeed best to take a break from dating while you recover from the breakup. What I found most interesting about this approach was that it was not nearly as cut and dry as the other. While almost all comments recommended taking a break, there did not seem to be a consensus as to how long to wait before dating again was appropriate. Some recommended only a few weeks or months, while others used more of a formula based approach recommending that it takes half as long as the relationship last to completely heal. I found this formula approach extremely intriguing, because if you had been in a relationship for say 10 years, it would require you to wait 5 years before you could say you are truly over your ex and ready to move on.
While I have been through a few breakups myself, I don’t know if I have enough experience to comment on which approach I feel is right. For me, I have always felt that I need a least a little break from dating once a relationship has ended, even if it was nothing serious. I have also gone through a long-term breakup and don’t know if I actually waited long enough before trying to date again. I think the reality is that this is not something that is cut and dry. I believe that in most cases everyone is different, as thus requires a different amount of time before moving on.
How about you? Have you ever been a victim of rebound dating? Have you ever been the one on the rebound and trying to date to get past someone? Do you think you can define how long someone should wait before trying to date again? Is there a formula that actually works for everyone in every case?
If you have a relating story to share, I would love to hear it!
After reading all these comments, I was left with several questions regarding rebound dating and if and when it is appropriate. It appears that there are a few schools of thought when it comes to this topic.
One of the most common thoughts on this was the “get right back out there” or “back on the horse” approach. Apparently if the pervious relationship was not that serious, or was a fairly short duration, a lot of people seem to recommend getting back on the horse as soon as possible and start dating again. From the comments it seems doing this helps people to see that there are other fish in the sea and that it is ok to move on quickly.
The second approach seemed to apply to long-term relationship that were considers more serious. According to the comments, it appears in cases like this it is indeed best to take a break from dating while you recover from the breakup. What I found most interesting about this approach was that it was not nearly as cut and dry as the other. While almost all comments recommended taking a break, there did not seem to be a consensus as to how long to wait before dating again was appropriate. Some recommended only a few weeks or months, while others used more of a formula based approach recommending that it takes half as long as the relationship last to completely heal. I found this formula approach extremely intriguing, because if you had been in a relationship for say 10 years, it would require you to wait 5 years before you could say you are truly over your ex and ready to move on.
While I have been through a few breakups myself, I don’t know if I have enough experience to comment on which approach I feel is right. For me, I have always felt that I need a least a little break from dating once a relationship has ended, even if it was nothing serious. I have also gone through a long-term breakup and don’t know if I actually waited long enough before trying to date again. I think the reality is that this is not something that is cut and dry. I believe that in most cases everyone is different, as thus requires a different amount of time before moving on.
How about you? Have you ever been a victim of rebound dating? Have you ever been the one on the rebound and trying to date to get past someone? Do you think you can define how long someone should wait before trying to date again? Is there a formula that actually works for everyone in every case?
If you have a relating story to share, I would love to hear it!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friends with Benefits
Can a “friends with benefits” relationship actually ever work without eventually destroying the friendship? Seeing as how I am not even a “one night stand” kind of guy, you can bet that I have never tried this arrangement either.
I guess the big question I have is how does this kind of relationship even begin between “friends”? Obviously there must be a mutual physical attraction between each other, but is that where it ends? And if so, how was the friendship even started if there was never any real connection on a personal or emotional level? Or do I have it wrong, does a potential real relationship become just “friends with benefits” after the couple realizes that a long-term romantic relationship would never work out? I guess that is why these relationships end up being so complex.
I am by no means a “typical man”, so it is hard for me to even see the value of this kind of relationship. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but for me there has to be a deeper connection between me and my partner to truly enjoy the experience. I guess I just cannot see how people can separate the physical and emotional sides of a relationship so easily, or maybe that’s just it, they can’t.
If you ask me, I don’t honestly believe any friendship or relationship that has ended up in a “friends with benefits” situation can actually ever go back to being just friends. I am almost will to bet that someone in the friendship is always left wanting more. I think once people start being honest about what they want and how they feel they cannot help but look for a deeper connection. After all we, as humans, are social and emotional creatures. Denying these needs, in my opinion, has to lead to a hollow and empty life.
What do you think? Have you ever tried this kind of arrangement? Did it actually work out, or did it end up ruining the friendship? If you haven’t tried this, would you be willing to if the opportunity presented itself?
Comments are always welcomed!
I guess the big question I have is how does this kind of relationship even begin between “friends”? Obviously there must be a mutual physical attraction between each other, but is that where it ends? And if so, how was the friendship even started if there was never any real connection on a personal or emotional level? Or do I have it wrong, does a potential real relationship become just “friends with benefits” after the couple realizes that a long-term romantic relationship would never work out? I guess that is why these relationships end up being so complex.
I am by no means a “typical man”, so it is hard for me to even see the value of this kind of relationship. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but for me there has to be a deeper connection between me and my partner to truly enjoy the experience. I guess I just cannot see how people can separate the physical and emotional sides of a relationship so easily, or maybe that’s just it, they can’t.
If you ask me, I don’t honestly believe any friendship or relationship that has ended up in a “friends with benefits” situation can actually ever go back to being just friends. I am almost will to bet that someone in the friendship is always left wanting more. I think once people start being honest about what they want and how they feel they cannot help but look for a deeper connection. After all we, as humans, are social and emotional creatures. Denying these needs, in my opinion, has to lead to a hollow and empty life.
What do you think? Have you ever tried this kind of arrangement? Did it actually work out, or did it end up ruining the friendship? If you haven’t tried this, would you be willing to if the opportunity presented itself?
Comments are always welcomed!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Is Marriage Still Important?
How many of you out there believe marriage is still an important part of any long-term relationship? Can a relationship honestly last forever without a couple eventually getting married? And if not, why do you think that is? Does it have something to do with the feeling of contractual obligation that signing the marriage certificate brings? Or is it something else that keeps couples together regardless of their marriage status? What do you think?
Let me start by saying that, yes I am single, and yes I have never been married, but I still believe marriage is an important part of creating a healthy long-term relationship. To me marriage is about making the ultimate commitment to each other vowing to stay together for the good times and always work through the bad times no matter what it takes.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe relationships can last a long time without ever taking the next step to marriage, but I just don’t know if they can last forever. I say this because of personal experience. I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful relationship with a great woman that lasted over 9 years. I wanted to get married, but she always felt that we did not need that to make the relationship last. Needless to say, eventually she let the relationship fall apart no matter how hard I tried and we went our separate ways. I don’t know if getting married would have kept us together or not, but part of me will always wonder.
So what is your take on marriage? Is it just an obsolete institution from the past, a religious requirement, or something else?
All thoughts and comments are welcome!
Let me start by saying that, yes I am single, and yes I have never been married, but I still believe marriage is an important part of creating a healthy long-term relationship. To me marriage is about making the ultimate commitment to each other vowing to stay together for the good times and always work through the bad times no matter what it takes.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe relationships can last a long time without ever taking the next step to marriage, but I just don’t know if they can last forever. I say this because of personal experience. I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful relationship with a great woman that lasted over 9 years. I wanted to get married, but she always felt that we did not need that to make the relationship last. Needless to say, eventually she let the relationship fall apart no matter how hard I tried and we went our separate ways. I don’t know if getting married would have kept us together or not, but part of me will always wonder.
So what is your take on marriage? Is it just an obsolete institution from the past, a religious requirement, or something else?
All thoughts and comments are welcome!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Rich and Single, or In Love and Broke?
First let me start off by stating I am by no means broke, nor am I rich. I would have to say most months of the year I am financially comfortable at best. But one question often enters my mind, if I had to choose between being broke and in a loving relationship, or being wealthy and alone, which would I actually choose.
At first, the thought of being financially rich sounds pretty appealing. I mean, I am already single and have been for quite some time now, so why not take the money? But after really thinking about it, I just don’t know if I would ever honestly choose to be single forever. Yes, the money would be nice, but I am already pretty lonely and no amount of money could provide any real lasting cure for that. Every relationship that you would have would be based on money and not the man actually underneath it. And as we know, shallow and superficial relationships never last.
But being broke would also have some serious downsides too. Yes, I would be happy and in love, but I would also be stressed with struggling to make ends meet to provide for my family. I know there is a lot to be said about the power of love and the strength it can provide in times of struggle, but I just don’t know if I would actually be any happier. And let’s not forget that most relationships usually end because of finical difficulties/stress.
To be honest, I just don’t know if there really is an answer to this question. I guess the answer is to be fortunate for what I do have and thankful for what I don’t. After all, I am who I am, and all my life experiences up to this point are what have made me the man that I am today. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
How about you? How would you answer the question?
At first, the thought of being financially rich sounds pretty appealing. I mean, I am already single and have been for quite some time now, so why not take the money? But after really thinking about it, I just don’t know if I would ever honestly choose to be single forever. Yes, the money would be nice, but I am already pretty lonely and no amount of money could provide any real lasting cure for that. Every relationship that you would have would be based on money and not the man actually underneath it. And as we know, shallow and superficial relationships never last.
But being broke would also have some serious downsides too. Yes, I would be happy and in love, but I would also be stressed with struggling to make ends meet to provide for my family. I know there is a lot to be said about the power of love and the strength it can provide in times of struggle, but I just don’t know if I would actually be any happier. And let’s not forget that most relationships usually end because of finical difficulties/stress.
To be honest, I just don’t know if there really is an answer to this question. I guess the answer is to be fortunate for what I do have and thankful for what I don’t. After all, I am who I am, and all my life experiences up to this point are what have made me the man that I am today. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
How about you? How would you answer the question?
The Third Wheel
Oh yes, one of the biggest joys (note the sarcasm) of being single and hanging out with friends who are in relationships is getting to be the “third wheel”. Being in my thirties, I now find that the majority of my friends are in relationships and I am one of the very few in my circle of friends that is not. This means everywhere we go, I am left as the odd man out. Dinners, parties, clubs, you name it; there is always a feeling of them vs. me. This is especially noticed when I am in need of a wingman. When you are out with couples, there is no such thing as a good wingman. And to make matters worse, when single ladies see you hanging out with friends in relationships they often wonder what is wrong with you and begin to speculate on how damaged you must be. The only other option is to go out alone, but this too sucks. Going to the bar alone often make a guy look either creepy or desperate, neither of which attract women. It just often seems like a losing battle.
So I ask you, what is the solution? Any other “third wheels” out there that know what I am going through? And if so, any tips or tricks you might be able to share? If you were a third wheel, but are now in a relationship how did you pull it off?
Tips, comments, suggestions, all are welcome!
So I ask you, what is the solution? Any other “third wheels” out there that know what I am going through? And if so, any tips or tricks you might be able to share? If you were a third wheel, but are now in a relationship how did you pull it off?
Tips, comments, suggestions, all are welcome!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Communication Is Key
Too often I talk to my friends that are fortunate enough to be in a loving relationship, but cannot seem to communicate their issues/problems with each other. This absolutely drives me crazy! They come to me for advice on how to resolve their relationship issues the whole time trying desperately to avoid actually communicating the problems with their significant others. I don’t understand why people find it so hard to believe that communication is the key to any relationship. They do not realize just how lucky they are to have someone in their life that actually loves them and wants them in their lives every single day. Communication is such a small price to pay to keep that alive. But then I realize it is fear that is actually keeping them from communicating. How sad it that! The very thing that will end up keeping the relationship alive is the one thing most couples are afraid of! They can’t seem to get past the “what if” parts of communicating. They always say, “what if it starts a fight” or “what if I upset them” or something else similar. The funny thing is I always tell them that if they get hurt or it starts a fight now it’s probably a good thing. Failure to address the issues now will never make them magically go away later. Instead all it will do is create resentment and prolong the issue into a bigger problem leading to bigger fights and possibly irreparable damage to the relationship.
So if you are out there reading this right now and are lucky enough to have found love please stop and ask yourself if your communication could be better. Are there things in your relationship that could be better, do you hide your feelings, do you not share 100% of yourself? Start being honest, love yourself, open the doors of communication, save the love, create forever, and be happy! Or, keep on doing what you are doing and wind up being single and along, just like me! Take your pick! Trust me, you never really know what you got until it’s gone, and love is something you do not what to lose!
So if you are out there reading this right now and are lucky enough to have found love please stop and ask yourself if your communication could be better. Are there things in your relationship that could be better, do you hide your feelings, do you not share 100% of yourself? Start being honest, love yourself, open the doors of communication, save the love, create forever, and be happy! Or, keep on doing what you are doing and wind up being single and along, just like me! Take your pick! Trust me, you never really know what you got until it’s gone, and love is something you do not what to lose!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)