As relationships begin to fail there are always signs to be on the lookout for. If you notice or experience any of the following, there is a good chance that your relationship might soon be over!
• All work and no play – While work schedules can get crazy at times for everyone, if you notice your partner frequently working late and/or over the weekends for what appears to be no real reason they may just be trying to avoid you.
• Avoiding time alone – In addition to immersing themselves into their work, you may find that it is impossible to even share a simple meal together. On the rare chance that you do manage to make plans, you can bet that your partner will most likely insist that several friends come along as well. Constantly inviting friends to come along is another tactic to avoid alone time with you!
• No talk of future plans – Whether it is plans for the weekend or just plans for dinner, don’t be surprised if the term “we” is no longer used. Dropping the “we” talk for the singular “I” is a big sign that your partner is trying to distance themselves from you and the relationship.
• The closeness is gone – If you start to feel that your partner is more like a roommate, that’s because they are. At this point in the relationship your partner has most likely done some serious work to distance themselves from the relationship as much as possible without actually ending it and/or moving out.
• No more sex – it is not completely unusual for couples to continue to have sex even as the relationship is falling apart. If you find yourself trying to remember the last time the two of you were intimate, you can bet things are pretty much over. Once things cease in the bedroom, you can bet the end of the relationship will soon follow.
As always, this is by no means a complete list. It is just intended to give you some signs to be on the lookout for if you feel your relationship might be headed for the rocks. It is also important to note that a single sign alone does not always indicate problems in the relationship. It is when several signs are present that you can bet rough waters might be soon ahead!
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Friday, May 13, 2011
Are You Dating a Gold Digger?
In keeping with this week’s “signs” theme, here are a few signs that you might be dating a Gold Digger:
• She is out of your league – If the usual women you attract/date are 5’s and 6’s and all of the sudden you find yourself dating a 10, it is very possible she is look at your wallet and not you. While this is not true in all cases, it is a good general indicator to watch for especially if additional signs follow.
• She never offers to pay – While paying for most things is the gentlemanly thing to do, if you find she never offers to pay (not ever for herself) there is a good chance she is looking for a Sugar Daddy to spoil her rotten.
• She is overly interested on how much you make – if your career and finances seem to be the focus of your conversations, especially when you first meet, there is a good chance she is try to size you up. Depending on your responses, if she is a Gold Digger, she will either be instantly in love with you or you will be quickly dismissed. Women looking for money typically don’t waste too much time chatting with guys that clearly don’t have it.
• She asks for gifts or money early in the relationship – From small tokens of affection to expensive jewelry, don’t be surprised if she is trying to spend your money as fast as she can get it. After all, you “love her” right? So why wouldn’t you want her to have “nice things”? – Note the sarcasm!
• She uses sex for gifts – you will quickly realize that if you hold on to the wallet too tight, you will be going to bed alone. You can bet the less you spend on her, the less willing she will be to have sex. Remember, it is your wallet that she really wants to spend time with, not you.
Remember, while it might be nice to have a piece of arm candy, unless you are willing to play Sugar Daddy she won’t be sticking around long. Just watch for the early signs and indicators and you will be alright. Ignore them and you might find yourself broke and lonely once all you money is gone!
• She is out of your league – If the usual women you attract/date are 5’s and 6’s and all of the sudden you find yourself dating a 10, it is very possible she is look at your wallet and not you. While this is not true in all cases, it is a good general indicator to watch for especially if additional signs follow.
• She never offers to pay – While paying for most things is the gentlemanly thing to do, if you find she never offers to pay (not ever for herself) there is a good chance she is looking for a Sugar Daddy to spoil her rotten.
• She is overly interested on how much you make – if your career and finances seem to be the focus of your conversations, especially when you first meet, there is a good chance she is try to size you up. Depending on your responses, if she is a Gold Digger, she will either be instantly in love with you or you will be quickly dismissed. Women looking for money typically don’t waste too much time chatting with guys that clearly don’t have it.
• She asks for gifts or money early in the relationship – From small tokens of affection to expensive jewelry, don’t be surprised if she is trying to spend your money as fast as she can get it. After all, you “love her” right? So why wouldn’t you want her to have “nice things”? – Note the sarcasm!
• She uses sex for gifts – you will quickly realize that if you hold on to the wallet too tight, you will be going to bed alone. You can bet the less you spend on her, the less willing she will be to have sex. Remember, it is your wallet that she really wants to spend time with, not you.
Remember, while it might be nice to have a piece of arm candy, unless you are willing to play Sugar Daddy she won’t be sticking around long. Just watch for the early signs and indicators and you will be alright. Ignore them and you might find yourself broke and lonely once all you money is gone!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
5 Signs She’s Into You
Yesterday I posted “5 Signs She’s Not Into You”, so today I figured I would follow that up with 5 signs that she is into you!
• She asks question about your personal life – From how many siblings, to where you grew up, don’t be surprised if her questioning starts to sound a little like a background check. If she is interested, there is very little that she won’t want to know about you.
• She talks about doing future activities together – During a conversation if you hear phrases like “I have always wanted to try that” or “we should do that together”, you can bet that she is looking to spend more time with you. Just don’t be too surprised if she is interested in doing even the most boring activities with you too.
• She plays with her hair – We have all seen this one portrayed in the movies time and time again. Call it a nervous tic, or a form of subconscious flirting, but when a woman is interested in you she will most like play and twirl her hair while listening or talking with you.
• She laughs at even your bad jokes – As much as we want to believe that we are world-class standup comedians, let’s face it some of our jokes are bombs. Regardless of how bad the jokes you tell are, if she is interested, you will most like still receive a small courtesy laugh even if she didn’t think it was that funny.
• She finds excuses to touch you – whether it’s a smug on your cheek, a misplaced hair, or a folded/wrinkled cuff on your shirt, she will be the first one to notice and fix it. This allows her to make physical contact with you without being too overly obvious.
So there you have it, 5 signs she’s into you. Like the list before, this is by no means complete. It is simply a good starting point of signs to look for to help you determine if she is indeed interested.
Do you have any others you would like to add to the list? If so, let me hear them in the comments below!
• She asks question about your personal life – From how many siblings, to where you grew up, don’t be surprised if her questioning starts to sound a little like a background check. If she is interested, there is very little that she won’t want to know about you.
• She talks about doing future activities together – During a conversation if you hear phrases like “I have always wanted to try that” or “we should do that together”, you can bet that she is looking to spend more time with you. Just don’t be too surprised if she is interested in doing even the most boring activities with you too.
• She plays with her hair – We have all seen this one portrayed in the movies time and time again. Call it a nervous tic, or a form of subconscious flirting, but when a woman is interested in you she will most like play and twirl her hair while listening or talking with you.
• She laughs at even your bad jokes – As much as we want to believe that we are world-class standup comedians, let’s face it some of our jokes are bombs. Regardless of how bad the jokes you tell are, if she is interested, you will most like still receive a small courtesy laugh even if she didn’t think it was that funny.
• She finds excuses to touch you – whether it’s a smug on your cheek, a misplaced hair, or a folded/wrinkled cuff on your shirt, she will be the first one to notice and fix it. This allows her to make physical contact with you without being too overly obvious.
So there you have it, 5 signs she’s into you. Like the list before, this is by no means complete. It is simply a good starting point of signs to look for to help you determine if she is indeed interested.
Do you have any others you would like to add to the list? If so, let me hear them in the comments below!
Monday, May 9, 2011
5 Signs She’s Not Into You
Ok, so you have met a girl, but something just doesn’t seem right. She is friendly with you, but that’s about it. Here are 5 signs that she just isn’t into you:
• She doesn’t call you back – Odds are you have had longer conversations with her voicemail than actually speaking to her. When you finally do get a response it is usually hours or days later. And to add insult to injury there is a good chance her response to your voicemail will be with a text message instead of actually returning your call.
• She frequently cancels or avoids making plan with you – On the rare occasion that you actually do get a hold of her and try to plan something she is vague at best. And what few plans you manage to make with her are often met with a cancelation hours before due to some untimely excuse.
• All of your jokes bomb – If she had even the slightest bit of interest in you she would at least give you a few laughs regardless on the quality of your jokes, but around her you hear nothing but crickets.
• She tries to set you up with other girls – It doesn’t get much more obvious than this. If she constantly talks about a friend of hers that you should meet, you have no chance with this girl. No woman would ever try to set you up with one of her friends if she was even remotely interested in you.
• Her “perfect guy” sounds nothing like you – This one is also pretty obvious. If she makes it a point to list the qualities she is looking for in her “perfect guy”, and they sound nothing like you, she is trying to tell you something. Take the hint and move on.
There are a lot of other sign to look for too, but these are some of the most common ones used more often than not. Do yourself a favor and pay attention to these signs. Doing so may just save you a lot of time and frustration!
• She doesn’t call you back – Odds are you have had longer conversations with her voicemail than actually speaking to her. When you finally do get a response it is usually hours or days later. And to add insult to injury there is a good chance her response to your voicemail will be with a text message instead of actually returning your call.
• She frequently cancels or avoids making plan with you – On the rare occasion that you actually do get a hold of her and try to plan something she is vague at best. And what few plans you manage to make with her are often met with a cancelation hours before due to some untimely excuse.
• All of your jokes bomb – If she had even the slightest bit of interest in you she would at least give you a few laughs regardless on the quality of your jokes, but around her you hear nothing but crickets.
• She tries to set you up with other girls – It doesn’t get much more obvious than this. If she constantly talks about a friend of hers that you should meet, you have no chance with this girl. No woman would ever try to set you up with one of her friends if she was even remotely interested in you.
• Her “perfect guy” sounds nothing like you – This one is also pretty obvious. If she makes it a point to list the qualities she is looking for in her “perfect guy”, and they sound nothing like you, she is trying to tell you something. Take the hint and move on.
There are a lot of other sign to look for too, but these are some of the most common ones used more often than not. Do yourself a favor and pay attention to these signs. Doing so may just save you a lot of time and frustration!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Being Single
While I do date occasionally, for all intents and purposes I am single and have been for quite some time now. My friends often ask me how I handle being single without getting too lonely, and I figured I would share my response with you.
I admit after being in a long-term committed relationship, it was tough being single at first. I realized the thing that helped the most was staying active. Rather than sitting at home by yourself, it is best to get out there and stay busy. Don’t be afraid to do the things you love alone, or invite a friend or family member along if you want to. It is also helpful to get active in any hobbies you might have, or have had in the past. This is also a great time to try new hobbies or activities that you might have always wanted to try too. As a bonus, doing this is also a great way to meet new people!
In addition to staying active, it also helps to accept that it is ok to be single. While having someone to share your life with is a wonderful experience, it by no means should be a requirement for happiness. Being single does not mean you are worthless, unattractive, unwanted, or any other negative thought that might fill you head. You have to push those thoughts aside and focus on yourself, and your own happiness as a single.
My next recommendation is to spend some serious time reflecting and reinvesting in yourself. Focus on your positive qualities and what you have to offer. Reflect on the good parts of past relationships along with any lessons you have learned from the bad and use this as an opportunity for self-improvement. When you find aspects of your life that you would like to change or improve, take the time to reinvest in yourself and follow the steps to make it happen.
It is also important to never forget the power of friends and family. Spending time with friends and loved ones is always a great cure for loneliness. Whether it is a family dinner or a night out with friends, the time will fly by while you are out having fun. If you are not in a position to visit or hangout in person, sometimes even a simple phone call can pass the time and do wonders for your spirit.
The key to all of this is to have fun! Single or not, life is what we make of it. Never let some ideology stand in your way of happiness. Enjoy life and live it to the fullest. Embrace being single and just have fun! Just don’t be too surprised when you turn around and find your next loving relationship is staring you right in the face!
I admit after being in a long-term committed relationship, it was tough being single at first. I realized the thing that helped the most was staying active. Rather than sitting at home by yourself, it is best to get out there and stay busy. Don’t be afraid to do the things you love alone, or invite a friend or family member along if you want to. It is also helpful to get active in any hobbies you might have, or have had in the past. This is also a great time to try new hobbies or activities that you might have always wanted to try too. As a bonus, doing this is also a great way to meet new people!
In addition to staying active, it also helps to accept that it is ok to be single. While having someone to share your life with is a wonderful experience, it by no means should be a requirement for happiness. Being single does not mean you are worthless, unattractive, unwanted, or any other negative thought that might fill you head. You have to push those thoughts aside and focus on yourself, and your own happiness as a single.
My next recommendation is to spend some serious time reflecting and reinvesting in yourself. Focus on your positive qualities and what you have to offer. Reflect on the good parts of past relationships along with any lessons you have learned from the bad and use this as an opportunity for self-improvement. When you find aspects of your life that you would like to change or improve, take the time to reinvest in yourself and follow the steps to make it happen.
It is also important to never forget the power of friends and family. Spending time with friends and loved ones is always a great cure for loneliness. Whether it is a family dinner or a night out with friends, the time will fly by while you are out having fun. If you are not in a position to visit or hangout in person, sometimes even a simple phone call can pass the time and do wonders for your spirit.
The key to all of this is to have fun! Single or not, life is what we make of it. Never let some ideology stand in your way of happiness. Enjoy life and live it to the fullest. Embrace being single and just have fun! Just don’t be too surprised when you turn around and find your next loving relationship is staring you right in the face!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Rebound Dating
Ok, so I was reading some online dating forums the other day and kept running across comments regarding rebound dating. More specifically, most of the comments seemed to indicate that it is fairly common to go on a first date only to find out that the person they met had only been single for a short time, and should not be dating at all.
After reading all these comments, I was left with several questions regarding rebound dating and if and when it is appropriate. It appears that there are a few schools of thought when it comes to this topic.
One of the most common thoughts on this was the “get right back out there” or “back on the horse” approach. Apparently if the pervious relationship was not that serious, or was a fairly short duration, a lot of people seem to recommend getting back on the horse as soon as possible and start dating again. From the comments it seems doing this helps people to see that there are other fish in the sea and that it is ok to move on quickly.
The second approach seemed to apply to long-term relationship that were considers more serious. According to the comments, it appears in cases like this it is indeed best to take a break from dating while you recover from the breakup. What I found most interesting about this approach was that it was not nearly as cut and dry as the other. While almost all comments recommended taking a break, there did not seem to be a consensus as to how long to wait before dating again was appropriate. Some recommended only a few weeks or months, while others used more of a formula based approach recommending that it takes half as long as the relationship last to completely heal. I found this formula approach extremely intriguing, because if you had been in a relationship for say 10 years, it would require you to wait 5 years before you could say you are truly over your ex and ready to move on.
While I have been through a few breakups myself, I don’t know if I have enough experience to comment on which approach I feel is right. For me, I have always felt that I need a least a little break from dating once a relationship has ended, even if it was nothing serious. I have also gone through a long-term breakup and don’t know if I actually waited long enough before trying to date again. I think the reality is that this is not something that is cut and dry. I believe that in most cases everyone is different, as thus requires a different amount of time before moving on.
How about you? Have you ever been a victim of rebound dating? Have you ever been the one on the rebound and trying to date to get past someone? Do you think you can define how long someone should wait before trying to date again? Is there a formula that actually works for everyone in every case?
If you have a relating story to share, I would love to hear it!
After reading all these comments, I was left with several questions regarding rebound dating and if and when it is appropriate. It appears that there are a few schools of thought when it comes to this topic.
One of the most common thoughts on this was the “get right back out there” or “back on the horse” approach. Apparently if the pervious relationship was not that serious, or was a fairly short duration, a lot of people seem to recommend getting back on the horse as soon as possible and start dating again. From the comments it seems doing this helps people to see that there are other fish in the sea and that it is ok to move on quickly.
The second approach seemed to apply to long-term relationship that were considers more serious. According to the comments, it appears in cases like this it is indeed best to take a break from dating while you recover from the breakup. What I found most interesting about this approach was that it was not nearly as cut and dry as the other. While almost all comments recommended taking a break, there did not seem to be a consensus as to how long to wait before dating again was appropriate. Some recommended only a few weeks or months, while others used more of a formula based approach recommending that it takes half as long as the relationship last to completely heal. I found this formula approach extremely intriguing, because if you had been in a relationship for say 10 years, it would require you to wait 5 years before you could say you are truly over your ex and ready to move on.
While I have been through a few breakups myself, I don’t know if I have enough experience to comment on which approach I feel is right. For me, I have always felt that I need a least a little break from dating once a relationship has ended, even if it was nothing serious. I have also gone through a long-term breakup and don’t know if I actually waited long enough before trying to date again. I think the reality is that this is not something that is cut and dry. I believe that in most cases everyone is different, as thus requires a different amount of time before moving on.
How about you? Have you ever been a victim of rebound dating? Have you ever been the one on the rebound and trying to date to get past someone? Do you think you can define how long someone should wait before trying to date again? Is there a formula that actually works for everyone in every case?
If you have a relating story to share, I would love to hear it!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Taking It Slow
When it comes to physical relationships, I am a firm believer in taking it slow. To me, it seems more often than not people are way too eager to jump into bed without ever really getting to know each other first. If you ask me, this is never a healthy way to start a relationship, especially if you want it to last.
Sharing common interest, building strong and open communications, and connecting on an emotional level should all come first before taking the relationship to a physical level. Establishing these things first gives the relationship it highest chances for long-term success. If you choose to skip this process and move almost instantly to a physical relationship, it will most certainly cloud judgment and create confusion. It will also likely lead to feelings of regret later in the relationship.
Once a couple truly knows each other, they should feel confident with moving the relationship to the next level. By waiting until this point is reached, the physical relationship actually become a building block that strengthens the relationship as opposed to weakening it. And as a bonus, most couple will find that the physical relationship is more intense and enjoyable than it ever could have been by rushing things.
I know that in the heat of the moment waiting sounds like the worst idea ever, but trust me it is worth it. Your self-control and responsibility at the beginning of the relationship will be handsomely rewarded later with a stronger, long-lasting connection and an incredible physical experience!
Sharing common interest, building strong and open communications, and connecting on an emotional level should all come first before taking the relationship to a physical level. Establishing these things first gives the relationship it highest chances for long-term success. If you choose to skip this process and move almost instantly to a physical relationship, it will most certainly cloud judgment and create confusion. It will also likely lead to feelings of regret later in the relationship.
Once a couple truly knows each other, they should feel confident with moving the relationship to the next level. By waiting until this point is reached, the physical relationship actually become a building block that strengthens the relationship as opposed to weakening it. And as a bonus, most couple will find that the physical relationship is more intense and enjoyable than it ever could have been by rushing things.
I know that in the heat of the moment waiting sounds like the worst idea ever, but trust me it is worth it. Your self-control and responsibility at the beginning of the relationship will be handsomely rewarded later with a stronger, long-lasting connection and an incredible physical experience!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Anything for Love
If you ask me, there is nothing more special and more important than love! I am the type of person that loves with their entire being, and would do just about anything to save it.
What about you, would you do anything to save love? And if so, how far would you be willing to go? Would you be willing to risk your own personal health and safety? Would you be willing to lie, steal, cheat, and possibly kill to save it? How far is far enough? Is there such thing as going too far?
I believe love is always worth fighting for! While I would never go as far as breaking any laws or actually hurting anyone, there really isn’t much else I wouldn’t do to try and save love. I just cannot give up and walk away from love without fighting to the very end for it.
In my past relationship, which lasted over 9 years, I did just that. I did just about anything to try and save it. I turned my whole life upside down for her and the love we shared. I just could not walk away until I knew I had given it my all. I fought and fought to save our relationship and love until there was literally nothing left of it. It was only then, once I knew every last ounce of love was gone between us, that I could move on. I wanted to make sure that I would never have any regrets for giving up on our love too soon. Believe it or not, once I had finally reached this place it was extremely easy to walk away for good.
If you ask me, if someone is not willing to fight to save love I have to wonder if they were truly in love in the first place. I honestly don’t believe love should ever been easy to walk away from without fighting for it first. And I did just that!
What about you? Does anyone out there have a story of how they fought for love? Did you give up easily? Did you actually save it? Or did you just walk away?
What about you, would you do anything to save love? And if so, how far would you be willing to go? Would you be willing to risk your own personal health and safety? Would you be willing to lie, steal, cheat, and possibly kill to save it? How far is far enough? Is there such thing as going too far?
I believe love is always worth fighting for! While I would never go as far as breaking any laws or actually hurting anyone, there really isn’t much else I wouldn’t do to try and save love. I just cannot give up and walk away from love without fighting to the very end for it.
In my past relationship, which lasted over 9 years, I did just that. I did just about anything to try and save it. I turned my whole life upside down for her and the love we shared. I just could not walk away until I knew I had given it my all. I fought and fought to save our relationship and love until there was literally nothing left of it. It was only then, once I knew every last ounce of love was gone between us, that I could move on. I wanted to make sure that I would never have any regrets for giving up on our love too soon. Believe it or not, once I had finally reached this place it was extremely easy to walk away for good.
If you ask me, if someone is not willing to fight to save love I have to wonder if they were truly in love in the first place. I honestly don’t believe love should ever been easy to walk away from without fighting for it first. And I did just that!
What about you? Does anyone out there have a story of how they fought for love? Did you give up easily? Did you actually save it? Or did you just walk away?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Which do Women Prefer?
Alright ladies, which one do you honestly prefer and why? I mean time and time again it always seems like most of you at first gravitate to the bad boy instead of the gentleman. Why is this? Is it that we are not exciting enough? Do we lack a certain sort of mystery? Or is it that you are actually hoping to can change the bad boy into a bit of a gentleman and get the best of both worlds? If that is the case, good luck.
The funny thing is most of the women I know that now actually prefer gentlemen are because they dated the bad boy (or bad boys) at first and realized that after a while being continually treated like crap and being second best to his drinking buddies isn’t that fun in the long term.
I know we as gentleman are a bit predictable and less mysterious, but isn’t there something to be said about a man that is willing to put his woman above all else and love and cherish her wholeheartedly?
I guess that is just part of the curse of the gentleman. We may not get to be your first love, but we often do get to be your last love!
The funny thing is most of the women I know that now actually prefer gentlemen are because they dated the bad boy (or bad boys) at first and realized that after a while being continually treated like crap and being second best to his drinking buddies isn’t that fun in the long term.
I know we as gentleman are a bit predictable and less mysterious, but isn’t there something to be said about a man that is willing to put his woman above all else and love and cherish her wholeheartedly?
I guess that is just part of the curse of the gentleman. We may not get to be your first love, but we often do get to be your last love!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Dating In Your Thirties
How many of you out there would agree that dating in your thirties is a completely different experience than when you were younger? Maybe it is just me, but I often find that dating at this age is much more like going on a job interview, which is never fun.
When we were young, we really didn’t care about all of the “adult” stuff that matters so much to us now. Back them dating was simple, exciting, and most of all fun! It was all about passion, adventure, and exploration. Nothing else seemed to matter back then, nor did we let anything get in our way.
And now, in our thirties, it is completely different. The “adult” things that didn’t matter before seem to be the only things that matter now. It is all about being able to see a future with your date, and if not, it is game over. No exploration, adventure, or passion.
How sad is that? Should we really let love become a job? Should we rule out potential mates purely because they do not meet our “adult” needs? How about passion, adventure, and the process of exploring each other?
What do you think? Is dating still fun for you? Have you let the “adult” things get in your way of having fun with dating in your thirties?
When we were young, we really didn’t care about all of the “adult” stuff that matters so much to us now. Back them dating was simple, exciting, and most of all fun! It was all about passion, adventure, and exploration. Nothing else seemed to matter back then, nor did we let anything get in our way.
And now, in our thirties, it is completely different. The “adult” things that didn’t matter before seem to be the only things that matter now. It is all about being able to see a future with your date, and if not, it is game over. No exploration, adventure, or passion.
How sad is that? Should we really let love become a job? Should we rule out potential mates purely because they do not meet our “adult” needs? How about passion, adventure, and the process of exploring each other?
What do you think? Is dating still fun for you? Have you let the “adult” things get in your way of having fun with dating in your thirties?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Rich and Single, or In Love and Broke?
First let me start off by stating I am by no means broke, nor am I rich. I would have to say most months of the year I am financially comfortable at best. But one question often enters my mind, if I had to choose between being broke and in a loving relationship, or being wealthy and alone, which would I actually choose.
At first, the thought of being financially rich sounds pretty appealing. I mean, I am already single and have been for quite some time now, so why not take the money? But after really thinking about it, I just don’t know if I would ever honestly choose to be single forever. Yes, the money would be nice, but I am already pretty lonely and no amount of money could provide any real lasting cure for that. Every relationship that you would have would be based on money and not the man actually underneath it. And as we know, shallow and superficial relationships never last.
But being broke would also have some serious downsides too. Yes, I would be happy and in love, but I would also be stressed with struggling to make ends meet to provide for my family. I know there is a lot to be said about the power of love and the strength it can provide in times of struggle, but I just don’t know if I would actually be any happier. And let’s not forget that most relationships usually end because of finical difficulties/stress.
To be honest, I just don’t know if there really is an answer to this question. I guess the answer is to be fortunate for what I do have and thankful for what I don’t. After all, I am who I am, and all my life experiences up to this point are what have made me the man that I am today. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
How about you? How would you answer the question?
At first, the thought of being financially rich sounds pretty appealing. I mean, I am already single and have been for quite some time now, so why not take the money? But after really thinking about it, I just don’t know if I would ever honestly choose to be single forever. Yes, the money would be nice, but I am already pretty lonely and no amount of money could provide any real lasting cure for that. Every relationship that you would have would be based on money and not the man actually underneath it. And as we know, shallow and superficial relationships never last.
But being broke would also have some serious downsides too. Yes, I would be happy and in love, but I would also be stressed with struggling to make ends meet to provide for my family. I know there is a lot to be said about the power of love and the strength it can provide in times of struggle, but I just don’t know if I would actually be any happier. And let’s not forget that most relationships usually end because of finical difficulties/stress.
To be honest, I just don’t know if there really is an answer to this question. I guess the answer is to be fortunate for what I do have and thankful for what I don’t. After all, I am who I am, and all my life experiences up to this point are what have made me the man that I am today. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
How about you? How would you answer the question?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
One Night Stands
As you may have read from my bio or from one of my post, I am a single thirty-something male just trying to find his way in love and life. What you probably don’t know is that I am against one night stands. Yes, I am a guy, and yes I do not believe in one night stands and here’s why.
To me sex has always been more about making love. Yes I enjoy it, yes it feels good, but to me I just cannot get into it if I am not in love with my partner. I have had several encounters with extremely beautiful women that have offered to take me home, but I just couldn’t do it. To me there is something special about the act of making love. I have only had a few partners in my life and all of them I was madly in love with, and for that those ladies will always have a piece of me.
So, does being a guy and not believing in one night stands make me any less of a man? I am willing to bet some would say yes, but to me if anything it makes me more of one. It takes dedication to ones believes to respect the ultimate gift and experience we have to offer each other. And it is my dedication to love that makes the experience that much more meaningful. To me, making love is the act of sharing one’s self to the point that two unite as one, if only for a moment. And to me that feeling is better than any one night stand could ever feel.
To me sex has always been more about making love. Yes I enjoy it, yes it feels good, but to me I just cannot get into it if I am not in love with my partner. I have had several encounters with extremely beautiful women that have offered to take me home, but I just couldn’t do it. To me there is something special about the act of making love. I have only had a few partners in my life and all of them I was madly in love with, and for that those ladies will always have a piece of me.
So, does being a guy and not believing in one night stands make me any less of a man? I am willing to bet some would say yes, but to me if anything it makes me more of one. It takes dedication to ones believes to respect the ultimate gift and experience we have to offer each other. And it is my dedication to love that makes the experience that much more meaningful. To me, making love is the act of sharing one’s self to the point that two unite as one, if only for a moment. And to me that feeling is better than any one night stand could ever feel.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Communication Is Key
Too often I talk to my friends that are fortunate enough to be in a loving relationship, but cannot seem to communicate their issues/problems with each other. This absolutely drives me crazy! They come to me for advice on how to resolve their relationship issues the whole time trying desperately to avoid actually communicating the problems with their significant others. I don’t understand why people find it so hard to believe that communication is the key to any relationship. They do not realize just how lucky they are to have someone in their life that actually loves them and wants them in their lives every single day. Communication is such a small price to pay to keep that alive. But then I realize it is fear that is actually keeping them from communicating. How sad it that! The very thing that will end up keeping the relationship alive is the one thing most couples are afraid of! They can’t seem to get past the “what if” parts of communicating. They always say, “what if it starts a fight” or “what if I upset them” or something else similar. The funny thing is I always tell them that if they get hurt or it starts a fight now it’s probably a good thing. Failure to address the issues now will never make them magically go away later. Instead all it will do is create resentment and prolong the issue into a bigger problem leading to bigger fights and possibly irreparable damage to the relationship.
So if you are out there reading this right now and are lucky enough to have found love please stop and ask yourself if your communication could be better. Are there things in your relationship that could be better, do you hide your feelings, do you not share 100% of yourself? Start being honest, love yourself, open the doors of communication, save the love, create forever, and be happy! Or, keep on doing what you are doing and wind up being single and along, just like me! Take your pick! Trust me, you never really know what you got until it’s gone, and love is something you do not what to lose!
So if you are out there reading this right now and are lucky enough to have found love please stop and ask yourself if your communication could be better. Are there things in your relationship that could be better, do you hide your feelings, do you not share 100% of yourself? Start being honest, love yourself, open the doors of communication, save the love, create forever, and be happy! Or, keep on doing what you are doing and wind up being single and along, just like me! Take your pick! Trust me, you never really know what you got until it’s gone, and love is something you do not what to lose!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
First Love
It happened my junior year of high school. I had known her since 8th grade (she was in 7th), but never really took much notice until then. Actually that is not entirely true, toward the end of my sophomore year when she was a freshman I did indeed begin my crush but she was taken then. So fast-forward back to my junior year and the relationship that was my first love.
Let me start by saying she was amazing. She was beyond beautiful and what I felt was way out of my league, yet somehow I won. She would turn out to be one of only two people thus far to really get to look inside of me. She actually saw beyond my façade at the time and actually liked what she saw. To be honest I wasn’t as jaded back then as I am now. Back then I was still very much shy and reclusive, but also filled with hope and delusional ideas of romance and love. It is those qualities that she fell for, but little did I know she would also windup being partially responsible for the death of those qualities as well.
The first year when great! We did everything together and couldn’t bear to spend much time if any apart (the joys of young love). She desired me as much as I did her, which was an incredible feeling to say the least, but little did I know such things are never meant to last. There was nothing I would not do for her. I brought her flowers and small gifts randomly, took her places, and pretty much spoiled her rotten. She was my queen and I her fool. I thought I had found my fairytale and was ready to live happily ever after, or so I hoped.
The second year of our relationship was interesting to say the least. Due to a family issue, she needed to graduate with me. I worked my magic with the school counselor and got her into the classes need to make that happen. For a short time I was her hero, but that did not last long. As the year progressed, she began to become more demanding. No longer were my flowers and gifts surprises of delight, they in fact had become items of expectations and demands. If she thought I was going to bring her something and I didn’t, the fight was on. I had created a true queen with demands and all.
The last six months of what was left of the relationship was hell. I was still madly in love with her, or at least the fairytale idea anyways. I continued to try everything to keep her happy even if that meant hurting myself. I tried and I tried the whole time slowly feeling her slip away, but still I lost the fight. She no longer had time for the fool that was me; after all she was a queen now and needed to find her king.
So there I was, crushed and broken. The fairytale story over without the fairytale ending. And so it began. I vowed to never create another queen unless I was also the king. I was done being a fool, but I was also done with hope of a happily ever after. The relationship had left me forever changed and damaged in ways that could not be repaired.
These issues would come to surface in another relationship a few years later, but that’s another story.
Let me start by saying she was amazing. She was beyond beautiful and what I felt was way out of my league, yet somehow I won. She would turn out to be one of only two people thus far to really get to look inside of me. She actually saw beyond my façade at the time and actually liked what she saw. To be honest I wasn’t as jaded back then as I am now. Back then I was still very much shy and reclusive, but also filled with hope and delusional ideas of romance and love. It is those qualities that she fell for, but little did I know she would also windup being partially responsible for the death of those qualities as well.
The first year when great! We did everything together and couldn’t bear to spend much time if any apart (the joys of young love). She desired me as much as I did her, which was an incredible feeling to say the least, but little did I know such things are never meant to last. There was nothing I would not do for her. I brought her flowers and small gifts randomly, took her places, and pretty much spoiled her rotten. She was my queen and I her fool. I thought I had found my fairytale and was ready to live happily ever after, or so I hoped.
The second year of our relationship was interesting to say the least. Due to a family issue, she needed to graduate with me. I worked my magic with the school counselor and got her into the classes need to make that happen. For a short time I was her hero, but that did not last long. As the year progressed, she began to become more demanding. No longer were my flowers and gifts surprises of delight, they in fact had become items of expectations and demands. If she thought I was going to bring her something and I didn’t, the fight was on. I had created a true queen with demands and all.
The last six months of what was left of the relationship was hell. I was still madly in love with her, or at least the fairytale idea anyways. I continued to try everything to keep her happy even if that meant hurting myself. I tried and I tried the whole time slowly feeling her slip away, but still I lost the fight. She no longer had time for the fool that was me; after all she was a queen now and needed to find her king.
So there I was, crushed and broken. The fairytale story over without the fairytale ending. And so it began. I vowed to never create another queen unless I was also the king. I was done being a fool, but I was also done with hope of a happily ever after. The relationship had left me forever changed and damaged in ways that could not be repaired.
These issues would come to surface in another relationship a few years later, but that’s another story.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A Brief Introduction and Background
Ok, so here it goes. This is my first post and it may take some time to get this right. With that said, let’s start with a little background.
I am The Single Guy, and this is my attempt to chronicle my life (past, present, and future) through stories, events, rants, hopes, and everything else that is me. I tend to have unique points of view and philosophy’s that make me who I am. In all honestly, that is most likely a big reason as to why I am single and continually lonely. I am the type that likes to get in their own way and is constantly living inside my own head, as you will begin to see in future post. Please feel free to leave comments or ask questions on anything you see or read here. I am hoping this will wind up being a partially interactive journey for all those along for the ride. Ok, enough intro and background for now…Now it’s time to get this thing started! Stay tuned!
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