Taking It Slow

When it comes to physical relationships, I am a firm believer in taking it slow. To me, it seems more often than not people are way too eager to jump into bed without ever really getting to know each other first. If you ask me, this is never a healthy way to start a relationship, especially if you want it to last.
Sharing common interest, building strong and open communications, and connecting on an emotional level should all come first before taking the relationship to a physical level. Establishing these things first gives the relationship it highest chances for long-term success. If you choose to skip this process and move almost instantly to a physical relationship, it will most certainly cloud judgment and create confusion. It will also likely lead to feelings of regret later in the relationship.

Once a couple truly knows each other, they should feel confident with moving the relationship to the next level. By waiting until this point is reached, the physical relationship actually become a building block that strengthens the relationship as opposed to weakening it. And as a bonus, most couple will find that the physical relationship is more intense and enjoyable than it ever could have been by rushing things.

I know that in the heat of the moment waiting sounds like the worst idea ever, but trust me it is worth it. Your self-control and responsibility at the beginning of the relationship will be handsomely rewarded later with a stronger, long-lasting connection and an incredible physical experience!

Is Marriage Still Important?

How many of you out there believe marriage is still an important part of any long-term relationship? Can a relationship honestly last forever without a couple eventually getting married? And if not, why do you think that is? Does it have something to do with the feeling of contractual obligation that signing the marriage certificate brings? Or is it something else that keeps couples together regardless of their marriage status? What do you think?

Let me start by saying that, yes I am single, and yes I have never been married, but I still believe marriage is an important part of creating a healthy long-term relationship. To me marriage is about making the ultimate commitment to each other vowing to stay together for the good times and always work through the bad times no matter what it takes.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe relationships can last a long time without ever taking the next step to marriage, but I just don’t know if they can last forever. I say this because of personal experience. I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful relationship with a great woman that lasted over 9 years. I wanted to get married, but she always felt that we did not need that to make the relationship last. Needless to say, eventually she let the relationship fall apart no matter how hard I tried and we went our separate ways. I don’t know if getting married would have kept us together or not, but part of me will always wonder.

So what is your take on marriage? Is it just an obsolete institution from the past, a religious requirement, or something else?

All thoughts and comments are welcome!

The Third Wheel

Oh yes, one of the biggest joys (note the sarcasm) of being single and hanging out with friends who are in relationships is getting to be the “third wheel”. Being in my thirties, I now find that the majority of my friends are in relationships and I am one of the very few in my circle of friends that is not. This means everywhere we go, I am left as the odd man out. Dinners, parties, clubs, you name it; there is always a feeling of them vs. me. This is especially noticed when I am in need of a wingman. When you are out with couples, there is no such thing as a good wingman. And to make matters worse, when single ladies see you hanging out with friends in relationships they often wonder what is wrong with you and begin to speculate on how damaged you must be. The only other option is to go out alone, but this too sucks. Going to the bar alone often make a guy look either creepy or desperate, neither of which attract women. It just often seems like a losing battle.

So I ask you, what is the solution? Any other “third wheels” out there that know what I am going through? And if so, any tips or tricks you might be able to share? If you were a third wheel, but are now in a relationship how did you pull it off?

Tips, comments, suggestions, all are welcome!

Communication Is Key

Too often I talk to my friends that are fortunate enough to be in a loving relationship, but cannot seem to communicate their issues/problems with each other. This absolutely drives me crazy! They come to me for advice on how to resolve their relationship issues the whole time trying desperately to avoid actually communicating the problems with their significant others. I don’t understand why people find it so hard to believe that communication is the key to any relationship. They do not realize just how lucky they are to have someone in their life that actually loves them and wants them in their lives every single day. Communication is such a small price to pay to keep that alive. But then I realize it is fear that is actually keeping them from communicating. How sad it that! The very thing that will end up keeping the relationship alive is the one thing most couples are afraid of! They can’t seem to get past the “what if” parts of communicating. They always say, “what if it starts a fight” or “what if I upset them” or something else similar. The funny thing is I always tell them that if they get hurt or it starts a fight now it’s probably a good thing. Failure to address the issues now will never make them magically go away later. Instead all it will do is create resentment and prolong the issue into a bigger problem leading to bigger fights and possibly irreparable damage to the relationship.

So if you are out there reading this right now and are lucky enough to have found love please stop and ask yourself if your communication could be better. Are there things in your relationship that could be better, do you hide your feelings, do you not share 100% of yourself? Start being honest, love yourself, open the doors of communication, save the love, create forever, and be happy! Or, keep on doing what you are doing and wind up being single and along, just like me! Take your pick! Trust me, you never really know what you got until it’s gone, and love is something you do not what to lose!